RM: Friends with benefits

I think the title of this sermon is funny. :) Here (<---click) is the next sermon. 

We did this one 2 weeks ago, but I forgot to write my notes on here.

Here are a few take aways:

• Marriage is about friendship (among other things)
• 1st human friendship was a husband and wife (Gen 2:18...not good to be alone)
• Friendship is mentioned throughout scripture. It's important. (not just in marriage)
• We live in a world that makes it feel like you have tons of friends (social media). But you should be friendly towards all and FRIENDS with few. Jesus had 3 CLOSE friends (Peter, James, John) 

F-Fruitful
R-Reciprocal
I-Intimate
E-Enjoyable
N-Needed
D-Devoted
S-Sanctifying 


Fruitful 
-Living a life together that is effective, bringing glory for Christ
Reciprocal
-Work on your friendship together by being friendly. BE DEVOTED to working on this
-How good of a friend have you been? Your spouse is NOT your enemy
Intimate
-1 Cor 13:12
-3 types of marriages

1. Back to Back (Enemy, bitter, hostile, bad place, anger)
2. Shoulder to Shoulder (Lonely, strangers living together, Co-workers in the business of running the family, most American marriages all in this category)
3. Face to Face (look one another in eyes, date nights, sacred moments during the day to stop and connect, share life with and emotions with one another) 

Enjoyable
-Ecclesiates 9:7-9
-Blow some dough ($) to the glory of God--make memories with your spouse and take pictures
Needed
-We need one another
-Ask: How and Why we need one another?
Devoted
-Prov 17:17 (hard times)
-Romans 12:15 (good times)
-There for ALL season of life
Sanctifying 
-Proverbs 13:20
- You spouse doesn't change you, they reveal your sin
-God made marriage to make you more holy, NOT happy.

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We desire to be that couple that goes to dinner and talks. Not the one that has their phones out on the table and not engaging their spouse in conversation. It's hard to do this at times, but we were challenged by this sermon. We need to be students of one another for a lifetime. One thing Mark mentioned was his push for couples to pursue friendship, and everything else will fall into place in their marriage. After two years of marriage, I think this is true. We have had our seasons where there is disconnect and we can feel it in ALL areas of our marriage. But when we are focused on our friendship, we seem to be in stride with one another. It's work for sure.

-Kelli

TWO year anniversary

 March 14th we celebrated our second year of marriage. We had a wonderful day together. We ended up in DFW area for our anniversary just like last year. I don't know what we are going to do if we end up in Lubbock for an anniversary...:) There are endless options in DFW and in Lbk...well not TONS to do.

Little blurry...but we were excited!

This years main event was going to the Dallas World Aquarium. If only you could see how my husband comes alive at places like this. I love all the furry animals (jaguar, monkeys, otters, sloth) and he took all pictures of fish, sharks, turtles, frogs etc). It was crazy busy (anni always will fall on spring break) but despite the crowds we had fun walking around and learning for almost three hours. 

HUGE manatee

After the aquarium we headed to lunch at Macaroni Grill. It was delicious! The waiter suggested that we get the mac-n-cheese bites tapas and oh my goodness were they good. If they would have given me a dozen of those babies I would have eaten them all. They were SOOOOO good. We had a gift card for this meal, so that was a nice way to have a nice lunch for free :)

Mac-n-cheese bites!!!

me @ lunch

Teddy @ lunch

 After lunch we headed to studio movie grill in Dallas. We saw Good Deeds (Tyler Perry movie). We also had purchased Groupon deal for this outing. We both enjoyed the movie, but not necessarily the movie theater. Our movie ended right at 5:00pm...not great timing to get from Dallas back to Keller...but we made it in about an hour and half. Not bad considering traffic could have been worse. :)

Over all we had a great day. We are excited about year three ahead of us.

Little reflection on this past year: 
My oh my what a year we had. If we were honest (which if you know me, this is very important) we would tell you that this year was harder then our first year. First year was easy breezy. I know that isn't the case for most marriages, but for whatever reason we adjusted really well during our first year. Our second year brought A LOT of big life transitions, which made it more difficult (makes sense).

Here is what last year consisted of:
-Moved all our stuff into storage (where it still sits) 
-Teddy quit his job as an EMT and we both joined full time staff with Campus Crusade (CRU)
-We lived in a dorm from June 10th-July 28th with other couples while joining staff
-We have spent over 11,000 miles on the road since June. Yes, in the car with just the two of us. Quality time galore!
-We have a packing plan down. Teddy packs the car while I do the last minute cleaning, thank you notes, making bed, etc. Then we hop in the car and head out.
-I turned 25 and Teddy turned 24
-I have not driven hardly ANY this year because Teddy does it.
-Spent Thanksgiving in Houston
-Spent Xmas day in Krum (but got to see all family in Lubbock and Wichita Falls too)
-My best friend (Kim) moved away to LSU, another best friend (Cotterface) moved over seas to Australia, another best friend (Dena) got engaged, another close friend (Reeders) got married and pregnant!
-We attended a stewardship/MPD conference in Estes Park and attended The Winter Conference in Fort Worth (@ The Omni)
-Car problems and more car problems. :)
-Wrote a popular post on remembering our financial struggle
-Met new couple friends from all over the country at our new staff training
-Practically been living out of suitcases since August traveling from Lubbock, Wichita Falls, Keller, Houston and back and forth and back and forth raising support.
-Started a weekly date night & have gone back and forth at being good at it. We have had to adjust it to our lifestyle currently.

It's been a ride. We are excited to be back into a "normal" life sooner than later once we are done raising support. Wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. Teddy is the ultimate/best life partner to have. I'm blessed.

-Kelli
 

Provoking Curiosity...asking good questions

Love this article I got in an email today. Great for ministry and relationship with anyone!
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Last Fall our Student LINC and Coaching Center teams read the book, "I Once Was Lost" by Don Everts and Doug Schaupp. Subtitled, "What Postmodern Skeptics Taught Us About Their Path to Jesus", it helped us understand some of the issues everyone must wrestle with as they come to faith.

Everts and Schaupp list five thresholds that someone must cross before they place their faith in Jesus Christ. They are:

• Trusting a Christian. Moving from distrust to trust.
• Becoming curious. Moving from complacent to curious.
• Opening Up to Change. Moving from being closed to change to openness.
• Seeking After God. Moving from meandering to seeking.
• And Entering the Kingdom. Actually crossing into the Kingdom itself.

Each threshold has specific faith issues non-believer must have satisfied and there are ways for us as believers to come alongside them in their journey.

I have written on this topic before when my friend Kevin Kneeshaw shared thoughts about that first threshold. He suggested several ways we can build trust with the non-believer. This time I want to focus on "becoming curious."

There are things we can do to actually provoke curiosity. One significant way is to encourage questions. Jesus asked questions not to get information but to stir within others thought or emotion. Everts and Schaupp noted research by a friend of theirs, "Jesus is asked 183 questions in the Gospels. He answers just 3 of them—but asks 307 questions back...Jesus does not have Q and A sessions. He has Q and Q sessions."

They continue.
"Sometimes when someone asks us a question, an answer is the last thing they need. Instead, they need someone to stoke the fire of curiosity in their soul…We live in an age of too much information, too few good questions. Let's be the ones to ask the great questions. Spark curiosity where ever you go, Lets ask intriguing questions that help our friends think about life from angles they have never considered. "

Sometimes we actually douse curiosity. The authors write.
"We need to give people what they ask for instead of pouring out everything we know about God the first time they display…curiosity. If they have a thimbleful of curiosity, we could actually douse that small curiosity be answering their small, limited questions with a hundred and one apologetic answers...Try not to dump five gallons of answers on a six ounce question. Try to assess your friend's curiosity and respond in kind. This approach is much more likely to result in the growth of their curiosity over time."

I like this. Looking back on my own faith journey, I considered myself an atheist in high school. My closest friend were Christians. I had serious obstacles to overcome. There were things that my friends did to cause me to become more curious about Christianity, as well as eventually becoming open to change and being willing to seek God. That was a four year process for me.

It is worth it for us to learn what is involved in helping our non-believing friends cross these successive thresholds.
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That was written by a guy on staff. I thought it was thought provoking! My favorite part: Try not to dump five gallons of answers on a six ounce question. So great for a talker like me. :)

-Kelli

RM: New Marriage, Same Spouse

Sermon can be found here.

Week one of the real marriage series was great. I know many people don't see eye to eye with Mark Driscoll, but I think most of the things mentioned in this sermon in particular is spot on.

So many people in this world divorce because they need a new marriage. Their spouse isn't meet up to their expectation of marriage. So they trade that spouse for another person. But that normally ends in heart break or divorce too. People very rarely stop and consider that THEY are the one that needs works. You can remain in your marriage you are in currently, but work hard to change how you handle things, treat your spouse, and pursue Jesus and you will have the same spouse, but a completely different marriage.

Here are some take aways:

• Satan attacks Christian marriage. He didn't show up in Genesis until AFTER Adam and Eve were married. You quickly shift from your wedding to a war against satan. FIGHT.
• Great question: Are you drawing out your spouse or shutting them down as you work through conflict?
• "It's more than discipline, we want to DELIGHT in our marriage."
• Do you have a testimony or a biography? A testimony is Jesus working through your marriage/life, and biography is just about you. 

Another key thing he talked about is full disclosure in your marriage. Some people will say that what they did in their past is in the past and there is no need to talk about it with their spouse. But Mark would encourage all married/engaged couples to be completely honest about their past sin and asking for forgiveness from their spouse.  This can help healing and allow the couple to be fully open with one another. So one question he challenged all of us to ask is, "What are your secrets?" He said that most couples have secrets and they need to disclose them. Satan can use those secrets to drive a wedge between you and your spouse. Be open and honest. Christ died for your past sin too, no need to be ashamed.

Excited about the future sermons!
-Kelli

Real Marriage series

Teddy and I have started watching THIS sermon series based off that book (in picture). We have finished the first one and are doing the second one today. I believe our goal ultimately is do watch one each week.

We have learned during our first two years of marriage that we need something weekly that is promoting growth, conversations, and healthy marriage discussions (books/sermons/scripture etc). This helps us to continue to pursue one another by being a student of each other for a life time. We have definitely had seasons where this hasn't happened and I can tell you that as a woman I felt it immediately...a emotional disconnect. It happens in all marriages. I think that is because it's so easy to not WORK at marriage. Life happens and the importance of our covenant slips down the totem pole of importance.

The sermons are always an hour. I'm going to try and blog our take aways each week.
Join us in this journey?
First sermon: New Marriage, Same Spouse 


-Kelli

Tomato Bacon Chicken (recipe)

Last night I tried a new recipe. Pretty easy & pretty dang good.

This is for two people.

What cha need:
2 Chicken Breast
4 pieces of turkey bacon
2 thick slices of a Roma tomato
1/4 of an Red Onion (sliced)
1 T olive oil (I think you can use less)
2 teaspoons of minced garlic
A couple of shakes of Italian seasoning
Parmesan cheese (your choice of amount)

1) (pre) Heat the oven to 400 degrees and put in bacon for 10 mins or until half way cooked. Pull out and set aside. Turn oven down to 350 degrees after removing bacon
2) Toss chicken with oil & garlic
3) Season as much as you like with salt/pepper once placed in cooking dish (one that has a cover).
4) Place tomato on top
5) Cross bacon (2 piece per chicken) over tomato (X design, then tucked under chicken)...doesn't have to be perfect
6) Add slices of onion around the chicken & on top followed by your Italian season. Don't measure it, just sprinkle it on.
7) Cover and put in oven at 350 degrees for 30 mins
8) Uncover, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese placed back in oven for 15 more mins or until cheese is brownish.

Remove & eat!
I don't even like tomatoes...but this was good.
Enjoy.

-Kelli

What is God whispering to you?

The past couple of weeks our church has been doing a series called Iexperience. The gist of it was to understand the different ways you can experience God. This can happen through scripture, prayer (not just talking...but listening), community (the church, etc), through people.

I LOVED this past weeks message. Our pastor was sick so they streamed a sermon from a pastor in Chicago. Apparently as a church staff they watched it a couple weeks ago and wanted to show the church at some point. Boy am I glad they did.

The sermon was about those little whispers we hear in our head probably on a daily basis if we listened. But so many times we are quick to just ignore that and continue on. It might be something as little as send a text to your best friend to encourage them, write a note to your spouse telling them you appreciate them, send $50 to that family that you recently heard was in need, ask your neighbor how they are doing lately, give that homeless person a hot meal...etc etc. I hear these whispers off and on. There are seasons in my life when I hear whispers a lot and respond. Other season when I hear them and don't respond. And definitely seasons when I don't even take to time to hear ANY whispers...so obviously not responding either.

I truly believe these whispers are the Holy Spirit trying to get us to follow. To listen & follow & be blessed.

I took time to reflect a little after the sermon of the times in my life where there was a whisper that I heard and moved forward with that. Some are pretty dang significant parts of my life and I'm obviously so grateful that I heard and followed.

Walk down this journey with me...

April 2004: I had been wrestling with this unsettled feeling of continuing to play volleyball in college once I graduated from HS in May 2004. I had been pursing that for multiple years with training and such. I received a call after one of my try outs and was offered $$ to go play. But I finally heard God tell me that I was done playing volleyball after that phone call. I needed to say NO to my scholarship offers and go to Texas Tech for college. WHAT?! I heard it clearly and had to tell my parents. Worst night of my life. My heart was breaking because this was my passion. But that's exactly it...Jesus wasn't my passion anymore. God was trying to remove this LARGE idol in my life. Boy am I thankful I listened and went to school at Tech. (lead to lifelong friendships, enormous spiritual growth through Cru, future husband, future career & so much more)

Summer 2006: I went on my first summer project with Cru.  I had just completed my sophomore year of college and thrilled to go on project. It was that summer that I first heard God whisper that I should do ministry as my job when I graduate. (Which ended up happening after I graduated Dec '07) It was also on this project that I heard God whisper that I needed to be honest and vulnerable with my life. I confessed things that I figured I would hide forever. This lead me on a path of vulnerability that has changed my life, friendships, and ministry as a result.

Summer 2008: Well, actually June 17, 2008 to be exact. :) I heard God tell me it was OK for me to let myself fall in love with Teddy. Backstory: I had met Teddy March 2007. He had just moved to Lubbock and happen to be friends with a few guys I had recently become friends with. When we met I was dating someone else and he also began dating another girl shortly after moving to Lubbock. So we were friends and friends only. January 2008 rolls around we were both single and spending a lot of time together. Our friendship was growing very quickly. I can even remember Lori and I hanging out in my apt and her asking me about Teddy. I told her we would never date. :) ha! I watched Teddy grow so much in his walk with the Lord that semester and things started to change. I was scared of that change bc I didn't know if God wanted this to happen. On June 17th we got the chance to ride in a car together (just the 2 of us) for 3 hrs. We talked and talked and talked. When he dropped me off once we got back to LBK I knew things had changed. It was that day that God told me to let down my walls & let Teddy pursue me. Thankful I listened to this whisper...we started officially dating August 14, 2008

So there are three big whispers that occurred in my life.

The list of example (It might be something as little as send a text to your best friend to encourage them, write a note to your spouse telling them you appreciate them, invite that stranger to your Bible study, send $50 to that family that you recently heard was in need, ask your neighbor how they are doing lately, give that homeless person a hot meal) that I listed out are ones that frequent my life. "Little" whispers I guess you could say. I wanna to honor the Lord with my life....so I'm taking note of the "little" whispers too. They strengthen my relationship with people and with God as I trust him as I take steps of faith in some of the challenging things he tells me to do.

The sermon is only 30 minutes. I would HIGHLY recommend you watch it. Then take time to reflect. Where did you follow through with a whisper? Where did you disobey the whispers? What is God whispering to you RIGHT now? Whispers by Bill Hybels

Hope you are challenged and blessed by this sermon. I know I certainly was!
-Kelli