lead me

Hang tight during this post...i'm a little all over the place. Hopefully it will wrap up ok at the end...

Lately Teddy and I have been reflecting on this idea of leading & submission. In the Christian world we are taught to have the guy "pursue" us women. It would ultimately reflect on his ability to lead you through marriage (if you get to this place in the relationship).

I always thought that the guy is suppose to lead in dating. I learned through my relationship with Teddy that wasn't true. The times it talks about that in the Bible is dealing with marriage. Dating is a time when he is able to put on training wheels & learn what it might look like. The guy can be an encourager. The guy MUST respect you as a woman of God. But I can't rely on his leadership in our dating period. You shouldn't be "following" a guy you are only dating. But, realize you will get little glimpse of what it could potentially look like as your relationship develops.

I desperately wanted to follow Teddy. I wanted him to lead me well...while we were dating. I ended up disappointed OVER AND OVER...but it wasn't his responsibility-yet. I had to learn to follow Christ during that time. Which began my struggle with keeping Christ #1 & Teddy #2. It seems like it should be easy to be fully in love with Christ...I mean come on...He died for ME, You, Us. If you think worldly things distract you now...wait when you start falling in love with a Godly man the, struggle unfolds...(this isn't really what this post is about so I will stop here. But know that if you are single cherish that time. Walking with the Lord can become harder when you date, get engaged, and married)

Ok back to leading & following...
This marriage thing is & will be a long process of learning. I have found that because we haven't had HUGE decisions to make yet (almost 5 months in) that I keep thinking Teddy isn't leading me & I'm certainly not following. I found myself asking him the other night about this. He kindly pointed me to many times (that could appear small) already that I said yes to things I wasn't 100% about, but chose to submit to his decision. And it has worked. I smiled when he pointed this out.

What I pulled from our conversation is that leading looks differently then what I originally thought. (go figure...lots of things in marriage look WAY different once you are experiencing it) I was craving to see this unfold in our daily life...not JUST big things. I will miss out on a lot of growth and glimpses of God's glory within our marriage if I only pay attention to this "leading thing" during big times. We are now looking for ways to lead daily & follow daily. If he loves me well, I will be quick to respect him well. If I respect him, he will be quick to Love me well. (Love how this works!)

A song that I love is Lead Me by Sanctus Real. If you have never listened to it go to you tube now & look it up. :)

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone."

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this out home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


I love this song for a couple reasons. The order or importance is RIGHT on. Christ leading the husband, the husband leading his wife, followed by the husband leading the children. Often once people have kids this order gets all our of whack. It's once again tough to have God #1, Spouse #2, Kids #3.

I think this song touches the deepest part of my heart. It communicates what I want from Teddy. It puts everything into words.

Babe, I love you. You continue to amaze me as I watch you choose to walk with Christ. Thank you for the ways you lead me & love me daily. I love figuring out marriage with you. I'm so grateful that I'm married to a person who wants to learn about his bride & Christ. I love you forever.

If any of y'all have thoughts about marriage/dating/leading/Christ...comment. :) I might be married now..but I have conversations on a weekly basis about dating with the college women I meet with. Plus, one day Teddy and I will need to teach our children about dating & marriage. (store all these things way for years to come!)

-Kells
p.s. WOOHOO for me blogging twice this week!