"Oh..."

i was reminded tonight that I've been out of the CRU world for almost a month. it was the CRU picnic & I haven't been around students in a while. I felt weird. Which is weird too. I wasn't expecting to feel that way...so i walked away thinking..."oh...ok?" if that makes sense.

it's interesting to because CRU has gain a lot of momentum in the past month. So there are a lot of new faces that I have no idea about. And obviously they have no idea that I'm on staff. It's just a weird thing all together. I can't really put my finger on it all.

Support: i'm at 70% now. this week has been like pulling teeth. I brought in 7% this week. Yes, that's good because it's an increase. But it has been the slowest week so far. It put me in a weird mood at different times during the week. discouraged...

I haven't been connecting with the Lord much the past 2 weeks. It has affected me in different ways...most definitely. It's crazy how you can just tell. My heart, mind, thoughts, relationships, actions...everything changes some. I have a harder time recognizing the Spirit. I have a harder type walking by the Spirit when I do recognize Him. Overall, I need to stinkin connect with Jesus.

Today Teddy and I went to go look for furniture for my apartment next year! I'm pumped about new couches. I'm looking at getting a couch, loveseat, and ottoman (i think). I found some pretty good deals that were in my price range. It's fun to think that this stuff I will probably keep for at least 10 years. Probably get passed down to my kids. Yes I said my kids. haha...I say that because there have been things that my parents passed down to my sister. Which p.s. when I have kids I will make sure to save some of the stuff for passing down for the younger ones too. Anyways, when I "grow up" I will already have living room furniture, kitchen table, and one bed room set! yay! :) I kinda want my own house right now.

another thing I want right now is a baby. yea yea i know what you are thinking...you aren't married. Well right, I will of course wait until I have a hubby. But that doesn't take away from the fact that I am wanting a baby. I wanna be a mom. I know I wouldn't be fantastic right now because I'm so freakin selfish. It would teach me a lot...that's for sure. these feelings come and go month by month. Some days when i'm around babies it's practically like birth control. Then some days I want my own...as long as they aren't crying. That point I will just pass them off to my hubby :)